Documentaries, Shows, Films, Interviews, and Games.

The synopsis is as follows: "An award-winning and entertaining look at the early life of DʼLo - world famous queer, transgender, Tamil Sri Lankan American actor, writer, and comic who got his start performing for his family and classmates in Lancaster, CA. Through interviews, animation, home movies, and performance clips, DʼLo and his parents tell the story of how his identity and their relationships have changed over time."

D'Lo's website is here, and there is an article about Performing Girl (and D'Lo generally) here. The Performing Girl website is down now, and I'm struggling to access the film due to my location, but you might be able to access it on Amazon Prime, where you can also view the trailer. Please note that the trailer includes one instance of misgendering.

This is a really good documentary that I highly recommend watching! There are three trans male interviewees, two of whom are men of colour (Syrus and Nik) who both transitioned before having a child together. In fact, Syrus stopped using testosterone in order to carry the couple's baby. The third trans man in this film is Hershel, who is not a man of colour, and who transitioned after already raising a son. Because of these men's differing circumstances, their experiences are naturally very different, and this documentary does a great job of letting these men tell their own stories.

The complexities of navigating the world as trans parents are properly and sensitively explored. Nik tears up as he describes the struggle of being invalidated because he isn't his daughter's biological parent. Syrus expresses frustration at being read as a mother, whereas Nik is often read as a father when they're out in public together. Syrus discusses the dysphoria and loss involved with ceasing hormone replacement therapy in order to have a child, all the while emphasising how important it was for him to carry their pregnancy.

Beyond gender-related issues, Syrus discusses the assumptions which are projected onto him and his husband, because they are men of colour raising a child who is lighter-skinned. He compares these assumptions with comments which were directed at his mother (a lighter-skinned woman raising a darker-skinned child) and points out the resulting double standards which betray racist worldviews; namely, that he must be a nanny looking after someone else's child.

Hershel, who transitioned when he was older, is interviewed alongside an adult son who still calls his father "mom" and switches between she/her and he/him, depending whether he's referencing the past or the present. This is something that Hershel does not seem to mind, despite repeatedly saying that he doesn't feel like a mother at all. Their interviews are very gentle, sweet, and mature. The interviews with Aiyyana (a Native American trans woman) and her adult son are similarly lovely, and perhaps even more so, with her son Jaret intelligently reflecting on his past ignorance and showing great acceptance. "I thought about it, and there's no change other than the physical change, which is immaterial, really," he says, "Nothing has changed. My parent is still my parent, she's my mom... I raised my kids to know their grandma."

The documentary ranges from heartwarming to pretty damn sad. Stefonknee, a White American trans woman, talks about completely losing her family and community because she came out at age 46, leading to homelessness and suicide and exclusion from her own father's funeral. Meanwhile, Jenna (a young White American trans woman) and Eby (who is pregnant with Jenna's baby) discuss their relationship and lives together, all with the support of Jenna's father. This documentary absolutely shows that no two trans stories are the same.

The only downside to purchasing and watching this documentary on Vimeo is that, while the trailer is 720p, the documentary plays at 360p and includes several extra minutes of blank/grey screen. It almost seems like the filmmakers uploaded the wrong file. But the whole film is accessible, the interviews are still incredibly touching, and I don't regret my purchase.

Cremisius Aclassi, also known as Krem, is a trans man whose inclusion in this game I really appreciated. He discusses packing with socks, affirming himself through a masculine presentation, and his history of struggle. The in-game Qunari culture has a concept called "Aqun-Athlok", which translates to "born as one gender but living like another", and this is a concept that Krem identifies with. His friend, named the Iron Bull, insists that Krem is a "real man", and defends Krem's manhood during dialogue if the player chooses to ask questions. Krem was the first transgender character to appear in a BioWare game, and in my opinion, the outcome is awesome. Especially since the player can ask questions in this fictional context and be met with the insistence that Krem is a real man, which may cause them to hesitate before asking similar questions in real life. Krem is consistently characterised as a guy, and I reckon that's really valuable.

In this video, Brotherboys Kai and Dean talk about what their identities mean, and who they are. Dean, a Wiradjuri man, greets the filmmaker in his Pama–Nyungan language and then introduces Kai, a younger Wakka Wakka Wulli Wulli Brotherboy. It is explained that a Brotherboy is an Indigenous transgender or gender-diverse person who was assigned female at birth, but who has a boy spirit, leading them to take on male roles in society. Brotherboy is not just a gender identity, it is also a cultural identity. Dean explains his journey, saying that he decided to transition at 42 years of age, with Kai deciding to transition only a few months before the video was filmed, at the age of 18. This is a recommended watch, for insights into Brotherboy life! Kai Clancy can also be seen in this short documentary video, when he is much older and further along in his transition.

This is a trans-directed webseries, featuring many trans male actors, including trans men of colour. Looks pretty indie, but the cast and filmmaking diversity make me very keen to watch this one. You can access the episodes, and watch the trailer, here.

Despite the tacky film poster, which may lead you to assume the movie is making a mockery of trans men’s ability to carry children, this film is actually pretty good. I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite (and the acting leaves something to be desired), but it does explore the dilemma of a middle-aged trans man accidentally falling pregnant and having to face the dysphoric choices therein. That’s a first, for a casual comedy! Gavin Crawford, the White actor who plays the trans male protagonist, is a cis man. Not ideal, but better than an actress!

I feel the same way about Two 4 One that many cishet people (I have heard) feel about crappy romcom flicks. Don't expect anything super amazing, but it's fun. There is a happy ending!

The synopsis is as follows: "At a crucial turning point in his life, Tony Ferriaolo’s inner voice said, “Create yourself.” This credo once saved his life and now serves as a guiding principle as he educates transgender youth, as well as their parents. Lori Petchers’ moving A Self-Made Man interweaves the poignant story of Ferraiolo’s personal transition with his life work as a transgender youth advocate. We watch Tony guide kids as young as eight through the confusing journey of defining themselves when challenged by a physical appearance that conflicts with their gender identity. At this time of quickening in transgender awareness, younger and younger kids are declaring their gender identities, and families are struggling to adjust. Petchers highlights a self-made man who is an endearing and inspiring guiding light for whole families to move forward together with love, empowerment, and compassion." You can watch this documentary here.

The synopsis is as follows: "This new work by LA-based artist Rhys Ernst invokes the story of Lou Sullivan, trans man and AIDS activist largely responsible for establishing the distinction between gender identity and sexual orientation. Cut with images of Ernst’ own examination of this figure and trans history, the video is structured by the search for and desire to identify transmasculine elders and an intergenerational exploration of gay transmasculine identity. Utilizing interview footage, excerpts of Sullivan’s book “Information for the Female-to-Male Crossdresser and Transsexual," VHS gay porn, and Grindr chats, Dear Lou Sullivan is a meditation on the life of the late trans man and AIDS activist that explores the bodily intersection of transmasculine gay and HIV+ identity."

Please note that this short film includes screenshots of transphobic and serophobic Grindr messages, and a lot of flashing imagery. Gay porn plays throughout, but I didn't see any explicit imagery, and I think all overt sex acts are obscured. You can view this short film here.

This disaster of a production is a mockery of trans male experiences, bodies, and surgeries. It includes mutilation, murder, misgendering, and pathetic depictions of transmasculinity. Don't watch it. It's a waste of your time. The director knows nothing about transmasculinity, except how to portray a cheap and violent caricature of it. If he didn't intend to make trans viewers feel alienated and dehumanised by his film, he ought to have avoided making trans men seem like deranged, sexually perverse madwomen who trick and prey on poor, innocent cis women.

WARNING: There is unsafe chest binding in this movie. Learn more about unsafe binding here.

You can read my full review here. When I first watched this show, I really enjoyed the inclusion of Tony Sawicki, a trans man who finds out that he is the product of an illegal human cloning experiment. However, upon rewatching Sawicki's episode of Orphan Black, I realised how bad his characterisation actually is, and the negative stereotypes Tatiana Maslany (an actress) over-emphasised in order to play him.

This film is a mind-bending science fiction thriller that features an intersex individual who transitions from female to male. Pre-transition, the character John/Jane mentions feeling trapped in the wrong body, not understanding sex, being confused by female gender roles, and not fitting in with girls. After falling pregnant, he undergoes surgery and socially transitions, for reasons that are dubious but do somewhat make sense in the context of the film.

The trans aspect of this film is less about representation than it is science fiction. The character’s intersex traits are central to the film’s plot, for reasons I can’t describe without ruining the entire storyline. The character’s transition is so surreal that it doesn’t trigger any dysphoria for me personally.

Some commentary on forced intersex surgeries could possibly be gleaned, but that’s not really what this film is about. If you go into this viewing experience expecting representation, you might be disappointed. And if you're intersex, particularly an intersex person who has undergone unwanted medical treatments, you likely won't enjoy this film. Prepare for a homophobic slur and misogyny, too.

The intersex main character is played by Sarah Snook, a White Australian actress. By all reports she is endosex and cisgender, although I clearly can't know that for certain, as someone who doesn't know her personally.

This is a really valuable set of interviews, in my opinion, because it shows a range of experiences which often don't get discussed. You can watch the interviews here and, if you are questioning your gender, it might be a really good idea to listen to these interviewees speak, so you can see whether you relate to the experiences described. The interviewees use the terms butch, masculine-of-center, genderqueer, Māhū, and gender-neutral to describe how their female masculinity manifests.

"Sometimes I'm not male or female," one interviewee explains, going on to say, "I believe that masculinity goes beyond aesthetics."

"Gender in general can be inherent, but can also be a performance," says another interviewee, "Your full identity can be some combination of how you feel inside, and what you like to see when you look in the mirror."

"I got top surgery two years ago," a butch says, "and before that, I was miserable to be around... And now, I'm happy."

Brace (2015). The main character of this short film is Adam, played by Jake Graf himself, who is a White British trans man. After transitioning, he comes out as gay and breaks up with his girlfriend, resulting in homophobic harassment from his father. He meets another trans man, named Rocky (played by cis male actor Harry Rundle), and they begin dating, both unaware that the other man is FTM. The pair face some pretty horrific instances of homophobic abuse, including a beating that leaves Rocky hospitalised, where he is outed as trans to Adam. When Rocky discovers that Adam is trans as well, he gets very angry and ends the relationship due to his own internalised shame and trauma. This is an even harder film to watch than Dusk. I really wish we could get a sequel that features Adam in a happy, contented gay relationship.

Dusk (2017). This film is the story of an elderly trans man named Chris, who narrates while his life story is played out onscreen. Childhood experiences of bullying, exclusion, and transphobia are followed by a romance with a cis woman named Julie. Unfortunately, Chris and Julie are set upon by a gang of harassers, who sexually harass and brutally beat Julie. Chris is denied admission to the hospital by bigoted nursing staff. Real events from Chris’ life with his partner are compared to how they would’ve played out if he’d been a cis man; his partner’s parents don’t accept him, strangers consider them a threat to children, and their relationship comes under strain. There is ultimately a happy ending, but it’s still a tough watch. Chris binds with bandages, which I didn’t like, but it did make sense considering the historical context. I would’ve appreciated a note from Graf, before or after the film, acknowledging the dangers of bandage binding. You can learn about unsafe chest binding here.

Headspace (2017). This is a series of scenes showing adult trans people struggling during everyday situations. Laith Ashley, a trans male model, plays a trans man who is afraid of undressing in the men's locker room. Kieran Moloney, a trans male expat, plays a trans man who deals with bathroom inaccessibility. Jake Graf plays a dysphoric trans man trying to access gynaecological services.

Listen (2019). Trans youths, including trans boys, deal with bullying and harassment in schooling and domestic situations. Issues including self-harm, dysphoria, mental illness, bathroom inaccessibility, and disordered eating are addressed.

This is a heartbreaking and lovely look into the lives of two older White Australian trans men, named Dale and Andrew. Dale describes coming out in the late 60s and 70s, and then being confined to a corrective institute by his parents. He was there until he was eighteen, interspersed with periods of homelessness. At the institute, he was forced to wear dresses and would be inspected to ensure he wasn’t wearing shorts below the dresses. If he was found to be wearing shorts, they would be forcibly removed. He was given estrogen to ‘fix’ his FTM identity, while trans girls were given testosterone to 'fix' their MTF identity.

Dale also discusses trans male invisibility. When he was trying to transition, the local medical opinion was that the so-called “gender-dysphoria gene" was on the Y chromosome and, according to him, “we spent a lot of time in the eighties waiting for that to change” so that trans men could even be believed to exist. In the modern day, he talks about being refused medical care and being abused in medical settings. Andrew describes being deprived of food by medical staff in 2014, on the basis of his gender identity.

These men’s experiences are an important, crucial reminder that trans men are vulnerable to abuse and discrimination. This is especially the case as we get older; another topic discussed by Dale and Andrew, relating to receiving aged care. Andrew, a younger man, insists to Dale that he won’t allow Dale to be put into an aged-care home.

You can watch Then and Now: Trans Men Share Their Stories here.

This is an amazing documentary about a White Australian man who postponed his hormonal transition in order to carry his own child. I would really recommend watching, and (surprisingly) this film didn’t trigger my dysphoria at all. I could never do what AJ did, but I admire him so very much for his commitment to being a father. I also like that AJ's former partner, and current co-parent, is interviewed, and is incredibly supportive of AJ's journey. You can watch the documentary here.